My Dear Friends

During one of my many aggressive job hunts, I ran into my old friend Marci at Payless in the mall. She was cruising the top floor with a co worker and I was standing in line wearing uncomfortable high heels, too small of pants (haven’t worn interview pants in over 4 years) standing behind a lady and her screaming kids. Now, I don’t judge screaming kids because I don’t know if they are being bratty or if they are autistic or what so I make an effort not to get annoyed. However, this was my last stop in a very long mall walk and I was in no mood to deal with anyone. Maybe retail isn’t the job for me…

Off topic. I was standing in line, pathetically looking out the door to freedom when I see this girl. She looks familiar and as I sit and stare at her I realize its my friend from ten years ago! I forget all about the screaming kids and ran over to give her a hug. We instantly started chatting and I forgot all about my tight pants and uncomfortable shoes.

We have been hanging out almost every day. We have years to catch up on and years to experience together. What is interesting is, we both suffered and enjoyed similar life events without knowing about it. As I speak of my heartache, she had experienced the same. I speak of my intense joy and she shares the same. We giggle like school girls but speak about deeper stuff that I don’t feel comfortable talking to with anyone. I reach out to her and she reaches out to me. The most amazing thing in the world.

I have been feeling lost and hopeless lately. My job search has been crap, the boys in my life are just that… boys. I live at home and don’t make the income to move out. Everything just felt like it was crashing down around me and people close to me didn’t understand. I couldn’t explain what I was feeling and turned to the comfort of my front porch.

After reuniting with Marci, I felt complete again. She knew me from back in the day when I was in an unhappy relationship with somebody who would never be able to grow with me as a person. It felt so nice to have someone who knew the “old” me meet the “new” me. This made me so thankful for my friends, my true, real friends that I know will always be there regardless if we talk every day, once a week or every five years. I feel lucky that I have these few friends that will stick with me for the rest of our lives.

I don’t feel so lost anymore and I feel like I have a direction to head in. I picked up some work again with the family and I have to be there every morning at 8am. I finally feel like I might be able to start dating again and that lost pain I felt for so long is finally lifting. School starts in two weeks and I have a purpose again. I know my dramatic change in behavior has lots to do with Marci, she reminded me where I came from and who we actually are. She lifted me back on my feet when I felt like I was drowning. I will forever be thankful for running into her.

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