Trust

Trust is an interesting word.

People trust other people. I think its part of human nature to trust the people closest around you. Bosses trust employees with sensitive material, friends trust friends with secrets, family trusts family to protect and love. People trust within a relationship that the other won’t hurt them.

What happens when the trust is gone? Is it actually something one can heal from or do they wind up suspicious and doubting and scared?

I give my full trust to people because I assume (there is my first mistake) that the other person will not hurt me. Physically, mentally or emotionally. I do not make people earn my trust. Why? What is the point of putting them through hurdles just to “prove” something? When I was in school, the teacher would issue us an A at the beginning of the class and it was up to us, as students, to either keep the A by doing the work and getting good grades or allow it to drop. I treat trust the same way. I don’t need to have anyone prove anything to me. Just don’t be a dick and everything will be fine.

Recently, I lost my trust in someone. I have a mixture of emotions about it and most of all I feel stupid and hurt. I trusted this person not to hurt me physically, emotionally or mentally. I trusted him that he he would remain faithful and honest and not get violent or aggressive. He never gave me a reason not to trust him, so I gave him my whole trust. Now, I have none. I feel damaged and broken and I don’t like that feeling.

Is it so freaking hard to find a decent person who isn’t going to stomp all over my heart and feelings? Sheesh. I don’t ask for much, just don’t hurt me.

 

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