I woke up at the great time of 3:15am with the same clenching upset, stress stomach. I was dreaming of Jeff, but I don’t remember what the dreams were. Nothing bad because I woke up not angry. Or upset. Just confused. I went back to sleep and woke up at 6am. Dreaming again. Said eff it and went back to sleep again and woke up at 7:45. Finally I just gave up on my sleep. My stomach was a ball of knots anyway and sleep was out of the question.
I strip down and hop into the shower only to find out there is NO HOT WATER. AGAIN. I get out of the shower, reset the stupid water heater, get back in and the water is still lukewarm. Annoyed, I get out and just get dressed in a totally inappropriate outfit for work. A skirt and tank top. Luckily I was not going to work first thing this morning and going to my parents house to let the Screen Doctor guys install a screen door because that is part of my job description as working with the family business. I am now here, waiting, and I still have to take a shower and get ready because….
I HAVE AN INTERVIEW TODAY!!! I am taking control of my life. Not allowing it to spin so out of control. I eliminated Jeff from my life because his mood swings were stressful. It pains me to do that and I know this feeling is temporary. It doesn’t feel that way, and I feel like I just might die from a broken heart, but I know eventually this feeling will go away. Or not go away but become manageable. Or who knows? Maybe he will get his shit together and stop behaving like he has been and we can be friends. Strictly friends though. None of this funny business. That is up to him though if he wants to remain friends. I mean, obviously I made the break and told him no we can not be friends. I had to take a drastic measure to make him see that I was serious and his behavior is not acceptable. It just sucks that he wouldn’t believe me in the first place and push me to such drastic measures. First moving out and now cutting off all ties. It sucks. Really really sucks.
I talked to haggis last night about it. Didn’t do much talking but did a shit ton of crying. He was supposed to come out to California in September and I was all excited to introduce him to Jeff. Well, now Jeff chose to leave my life and Haggis isn’t coming out. Work. Always working. He told me about his fucked up situation with his cheating girlfriend, who fessed up to sleeping with another guy and was being blackmailed by him. It was pretty funny actually. People from Eastern Europe are weird. Perhaps its only the underbelly of Antwerp that are weird who all come from Eastern Europe. Apparently Romaina and Albernia or what ever the countries over are called have a mafia that is actually real! I think of mafia’s and I think of a bunch of testosterone fueled guys who carry guns and try to intimidate people because they are lacking something in their life. What do I know though? I grew up in California. So even though it started off crying, it ended okay. I was able to go to sleep.
Anyway, back to my interview, I have one today in Riverside. If the screen doctor people ever get here I might be able to make it on time. I still have to find my birth certificate since I lost my passport and ss card. I didn’t lose them, I just put them some where “safe” and haven’t found them since. I was all set to take a shower at my parents house since I am shit out of luck with hot water and now I am running behind. Ugh. To think I was actually running on time and even early earlier today.
So, today will be a good day. I have an interview. Driving a car thats not mine so I have good speakers and air conditioning. My ball of anguish is fading a bit. Thank goodness for that. Maybe I can actually eat today without the aid of vodka. That would be nice.