After much anguish over the past few months of fighting with my father and my ex, I have finally decided to do something about it and not let fear stand in my way.
I began counseling a few months ago when I felt like I was going to go insane. Soon after that I went on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety to help with the daily stress of work, my father and my ex. I managed to get the stress under control, but I was becoming physically ill from the sheer insanity of everything. I snapped on my dad, freaking out at work, crying, yelling and finally I could not handle the negative things he says to me. I couldn’t handle the negative things my ex said and i couldn’t handle the business anymore and just snapped. After my snap I realized, its time for a change. I put in a phone call to my BFF and asked if I could stay with her, lined up a place for my girls, got out of my lease and… here I am 12 days away from leaving California for good and making the break I so desperately need.
Onto positive notes, I am so excited to be moving. I dream about it almost every night, constantly looking for a job and an apartment and setting up phone interviews. This is the change that I have been needing for months and probably even years. I had really bad guilt about leaving the business and my family, but with counseling, I stopped feeling guilty. I don’t feel bad for taking the right step for my life. I am excited and can not wait for what the future may hold.