My Darling Girls

After a horrible confrontation and horrible anxiety, stomach burning and insomnia, I finally fell asleep at around 4:30. Yay me. That also meant since I took 2mg of Ativan, it also put me to sleep in a delightful sleep way. My day is now over and ruined. 

However, I have a top secret thing to do tomorrow and I am so excited for it!! I will not allow anything to keep me down for long. Stupid Nicole sent me a friend request today. Yeah, like I will accept her and her slutty slimy ways back into my life. I already know what type of person she is, has been her whole life and she has always enjoyed my sloppy seconds but STILL. Those to lowlifes can have each other. They won’t be faithful to each other, just do a shit ton of drugs together. What ever. Its not my concern anymore. 

I was able to spend THE WHOLE NIGHT with my kitties. So tempted to come back tonight and do it all over again. No, i have to get up super early tomorrow, so I would be house hopping and that is just so darn annoying. I have Vikotria cuddled on my lap as I type and I know I am just a few steps away from getting back on my feet. I have to stop worrying that its taking too long because these things take time. I have to accept that and just work a bit harder to get it to work out. Aggression. But you know, aggression in a nice way. 

So back to Becky’s I go. Have to fetch some kitty food and toothpicks and toothpaste while i go out tonight. After my top secret meeting, I am going to head back here and sit with them for a bit more. I just love the girls so much and miss them so much. I think that’s where I have been wobbling a bit because without them, I feel lost. They are my anchor and what makes me smile every day. Not some jackass telling me to smile, pfst, just the pure, innocent faces of my darling girls. 

What was that? Did I FINALLY hear my stomach growl? Yippie!! I must be feeling better. Fake friends are outta my life. Fake people who pretend to care about me and “love me” and will do anything are outta my life. I am starting fresh. Once I get a job, an apartment and my own place, then I can completely say, “I DID IT.” 


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