I feel like I have been robbed emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. Wait, wait wait. Let me back up. I don’t FEEL as though I have, I know 100% for a fact that I have. My ever so kind ex. Fits the sociopath tendencies to a T. I read over a few websites today and I was like, “Oh! He’s pulled that shit on me, oh, that sounds familiar, oh I’ve seen him do that a hundred times.” I came to finally somewhat understand that he HAS NO FEELINGS. He went to therapy, went to get on drugs, went to be a better person and all he does is lie, cheat and rob me of my kindness. Well fuck that. Each day is a bit stronger and he can go find someone else to use and abuse because we don’t even have a chance of friendship anymore. He’s killed it. I don’t trust him and I know he is a liar and the last night we spent together was horrible. I gave it up just to shut him up. I didn’t want to fight anymore, I didn’t want to talk about Wayne anymore, I just wanted him to shut the hell up. Felt dirty and grossed out afterwards, but lucky me, I don’t ever have to do that again. I don’t think he realized I cried through the whole thing, wishing I was somewhere else, with someone else, and even if he did realize, he didn’t care because he has no feelings. I just wanted it to be over. I didn’t want to look into his mean face and hear his harsh words, things he said to me to make up for the fact that he is the inadequate one. He is dead, and I have to turn off the memories of him.
I already tried to once, and it worked minus his insistent calling over and over, emaling, texting, and him annoying the fuck out of me. Its okay for him to screw the whole world but if I don’t answer for two nights its the end of the world. Unfortuantely for me, once again, I was blindsided by an asshole. Too bad too because I have known this guy for quite a few years. Truth hurts, but I texted him the next day and asked what exactly happened with my bank card. Funnily enough, still haven’t heard anything back. Yep, another one bites the dust. Two in two weeks. Thats pretty good odds for me I would guess.
Looks like its just gonna be me and the girls facing this world. I am quite okay with that. I don’t need a man in my life and after the last three I have had (Jason, Jeff and Weekend Boy), I am ready for a break. Time to focus on a job, school and the happiness that I create. Not the false happiness that these assholes give me. Robbing me of everything I am worth. I noticed when I hung out with Weekend Boy he was just like the ex. Kinda made me uncomfortable when I realized that but pushed doubt out of my mind. I’ve known him for over three years. There is no way he is like the ex but unfortunantely he is. At least I found out now.