Keep your Foot On The Brake!!

Its a well known fact that my car has been missing for almost a week. I drive in lonely circles around my ghetto block, looking for its empty shell, and I have yet to find anything. Every morning I get up and walk to where I parked my car, and every morning it is still gone. I have the police report taped to my fridge and every 817 number that calls, I hope its the cops calling me to tell me that they found it. Nothing. My baby girl, that we have spent so much time together and have been through hell and back is officially gone. The joke was that my car could outlast any boyfriend that I had. Now I have no car. Well, no car that I call my own.

I had to get a rental car. I am currently driving a generic Ford Focus and I really like it! The car talks to me when I am driving and messing with my phone. Tells me to stop it. But I don’t have to mess with my phone because when I turn on Google Maps, and plug it in through the USB port (Yes, this car has a USB port), it goes through my speakers! Ah! So this is what the excitement of a new car is like. I was telling my ma about it the other day. The things this car does that I find so amazing…

1. If I click the window button, it will go down automatically

2. The car tells me how many miles I am away from empty

3. A light comes on when the gas is low

4. Everything is electronic. I can play Pandora through the speakers and it sounds great! I’ve been rocking to Soja and Ranch Radio lately.

5. I can see at night time

6. There is 4 doors and a trunk!

There are more, but I forgot about the rest. I am in awe of having something newer than my 99 I guess. The only thing I am having a hard time with is, when I take my foot off the brake, the car moves. I am so used to driving a standard that I am having a problem with this. Like my mother told me… KEEP MY FOOT ON THE BRAKE. And then there is the air shifting and air clutching. My goodness. Turning corners have never been so easy!

I have been shopping for a car and it is such a pain in the ass. I wish I could just go send someone else to do it for me. I don’t know jack shit about anything and since I am a female, these dickheads think they can pull the wool over my eyes and talk me into something that I don’t want. For example. Tonight, after work I went to the dealership to look at a car they had. I told him what I wanted to spend, my monthly payments, and what type of car I was looking at. He tried to get me to raise my price, switch to automatic and gave me a foreign car. I am not sure what part of NO FOREIGN CARS he didn’t understand but … there he was, trying to sell me a Toyota. I simply left. Told him I would call in a few days and all of a sudden he had the cars I was looking for. I still left. Ha. I am already sick of looking at cars.

– Over and Out from Planet Smartass

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