DallasLOVE

Have I mentioned Dallas?

No?

Let me start by saying… I LOVE TEXAS. If I could shout it from the rooftops, I probably would. And for those who have never been to the amazing state, it does not smell and there are more things than tumbleweeds and horses.  In 2012 I had a crazy boyfriend and was working under stressful conditions at the family cabinet shop. I was at my breaking point and wasn’t sure where I could go. After talking to my lady doctor (I was in there for something and wound up crying and having an impromptu counseling session). She suggested that I leave and stop trying to please everyone.

That is all fine and dandy, but HOW can that be done? i spoke with my friend who lived in Texas and she suggested I move out there. She said she would put me up for a bit while I find a job and a place. One month later, I quit my job, arranged to rent out my apartment, broke up with the crazy guy, and drove 1500 miles away.

Texas is the exact opposite of California. Jobs, stable economy, and pleasant weather (if you like humidity). At first it was a rough transition. I missed California like crazy and while I was adjusting, I didn’t have many friends and trusted the wrong people. Luckily I stumbled across a job in Dallas and that changed everything. It was a country dance hall saloon. Here I made friends, met new people, and started living a life.

Lets back up a bit …

My first apartment was a duplex. It was attached to another apartment and when my neighbors were fighting, I could hear him hit her and her child run away screaming. Not having experienced that first hand, I did the only thing I could think of. I went next door and knocked on the door. Told her that my door is always open for her and if she is okay. Eventually they moved and offered me their couch, since they knew I didn’t have any furniture. I graciously accepted and come to find out, there was A CAT INSIDE THE COUCH. My cats freaked out and I had to put the kitty outside. I gave him food, water, and every blanket I had. Hopefully the people came back for him, but the next morning he was gone and I never saw him again. I still wonder what happened to that cat.

My next apartment was in a rough area. Around 4:00 a.m. you could hear gun shots. Luckily there, I was taken in under some wings and would not get harassed by the locals at the bar or gas station. For whatever reason they liked me, and I was gonna keep it like that. One day when I got home from work, I parked in my usual spot. The next morning, dressed up in my professional clothes, ready to plan some weddings, I walked to my car and it wasn’t there. In the 4 hours I was in my apartment, someone had come and stolen my car. Still to this day, I am bitter and sad. Since I was just barely on my feet, I didn’t have insurance and that was a hard life lesson.

Shortly after that, I moved to North Dallas, in the ‘burbs. Here is when life got interesting. I made friends. I started getting serving jobs and making more friends.  i joined a work family that was amazing. Life was good. Only problem, I felt that I was too far away from the action. After my year lease was up, I moved to a small neighborhood outside of the city. Stayed there for a year and finally moved into my dream apartment. A studio in Downtown Dallas. I worked really hard to get to where I was and I was proud of myself. I paid for it all on my own and didn’t depend on anyone else. It felt good. I also felt like I have accomplished everything in Dallas and became bored.

This is when I decided to move to Hawaii. As happy as I am about that decision, I missed Dallas so much. I didn’t expect to miss it as much as I did. That totally caught me off guard. 4 months after moving to Hawaii, I went back to Dallas. It was amazing to come home, but I wasn’t ready to move back. After visiting California, I decided to move back to my parents. Hang out with my mom and figure out an action plan. During these times, I lost a coworker to suicide. I went back to Texas for the funeral and my best lady friend died unexpectedly the day of his funeral. I stayed for an extra week and tried to wrap my head around it. The circumstance put me in a dark space. I went through the motions of moving off Kauai, and into my parents house.

The first 4 months was an absolute blur. Not even sure how I survived it, but I did. Towards the end of the 3rd month, I decided to change my diet and start exercising to help combat my depression. I attempted to seek help from a mental health clinic, but it was jumping through many hoops as I did not have insurance. I went back to Dallas to visit with my friends and that’s when I realized what is important. The most important thing right now is friends. I need my friends. I always prided myself on being able to do things alone and not needing anyone, but after the double loss, I realized that FRIENDS is what I need to be happy. To feel full-filled. I want those friends by my side as I battle through life. It took moving away to realize where my home is.  Life is wild.

Lesson of the Day:
There are two lessons here. One: ALWAYS HAVE AUTO INSURANCE. And yes, I am yelling because it is so important. Like electricity or paying rent. It is so worth it because when you think you won’t need it, you will. Two: Appreciate friends. Those people can really make or break a situation.

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