Crail Rally

June 22, 2008

So the time has come. After a long tiresome couple weeks where at one point the flat’s garage burned with light, music and endless cups of coffee to the late hours of the night were brian, Haggis and often Antony slaving away on cars. First it was Speedy’s car that had to be fixed, loved and finally running properly that occupied the time and effort of the boys. After one weekend of when brian and haggis made numerous trips to scotland to collect cars from the lock up we then had two cars that demanded love and time and most of all attention. Soon Brian’s car was in the garage since when the boys would work on his car at Rachel’s the neighbor complained about the “Scottish Guy” and the noise. The noise wasn’t bad though. It was the middle of a sunday afternoon and it was only a few loud bangs that possibly could have created any disturbance. But it wasn’t that bad! After that brians car was over at our place. There was helping hands by the eager to learn Antony, no noise restrictions and dinner every night. Engine racket floated upstairs and would interrupt whatever brainless tv i was watching or would distract me from my many books i managed to get through. At one point there was 3 cars being worked on, the fourth being Antonys project. Engine oil and car grease became haggis new scent, along with extremly late nights and i finally realized he had a mistress.

Come sunday, the weekend before the rally, speedy came down from scotland and collected his car. One was finally done and two more to finish before Thursday. How in gods name he thought he was going to do it, i don’t know but i know that regardless it would be done. Luckily the car gods were on our side and the pressure to get JB’s car done was off. Upon that excitng news we fianlly went out on thursday night where i got extremely drunk and then threw up all of the next morning, right around the time we were supposed to leave for Crail.

I was tucked into brians back seat with the duvet and a pillo wand slept most of the way. I missed pretty much the whole drive. Oh well. A four hour trip turned into a 7 hour journey, having to stop at haggis mom’s so i can pick up my “warm clothes” that i left there, we were supposed to go to East Killbride to get Speedy’s heart medicine but didn’t have to do that, then off to Brians parents house to get some car parts and had a lunch that his mom prepared for us. I wake up to find ourselves parked next to this massive building full of broken windows and a creepy look about the place. My blurry eyes are trying to see where we are and apparantly the rally is taking place on an aboandoned airfield that was from WWII. It was a bomb something place. The area is littered with buildings large and small, all brick with all broken windows and overgrown bushes and weeds. Who the hell can focus on rallying when there is abandoned buildings to explore? And to top it off we are walking distance to the sea. A long walk, but walking nevertheless.

The boys have assembled a service crew. Antony, the everlasting life saver, BFG aka Eddie and his girlfriend, Fiona.

We borrowed a tent from fellow rally person and bar friend, Mike. Haggy declared the tents new name, Castle Dent. This tent was HUGE. it looks liek an armadillo from the outside but once inside there is a central door that leads to a sitting area and to the right are two rooms, brian is on one and fiona and eddie are in the other. Across from them is another 2 rooms but haggy and i used it as one room since our borrowed air mattress was so large. Antony is our guard, sleeping in the middle. Speedy isn’t camping and went to stay in a hotel with spare air mattress loaner, tent building, co-driving extradonaire Ben.

I on the other hand had an unexpected visitor that left me in cramps and a very uncomfortable position with no stores around. Instead of being the faithful follower of rallying, I’m hiding out in a small piece of sun writing all this. its way too much trouble to attempt to be social when i feel like crap.

As the rally began, i did keep tabs on the important aspects. They (being brian and haggy) are 2nd place 3rd in class. There is a 4 second gap and 2 cars have retired. Only a billion stages left. I’m starving and the only thing i want is REAL mexican food.

People are funny. Some of them, as they walked by, would look at you and smile. Others would look at you and get a swagger and act like they are too cool for anything. Until you stare at them and they are forced into acknowledging you by making eye contact. Then they look away real fast and then as they walk past a second time they shuffle their feet and pretend they don’t see you, especially when they glance up and instantly glance back down. At least the swagger is gone


Towards the end of the day people are getting tired. haggy didn’t eat that much and was having his attention span distracted. He made an error on the notes and him and brian were behind 12 minutes. however, after a nice walk and dinner and a beer he was much more chipper later. Afterall there is another full day of getting the time back and getting back to where they were supposed to be, 1st place afterall.

The sun doesn’t really go down in scotland. So as midnight approached and the sun was still up… sorta. It was dusky but not pitch black. it was bizarre. Granted I did sleep most of the day so i was awake, but, if it was night i would have been able to go to sleep. Brian fell asleep first and then haggy laid in bed. Everyone seemed to be exhausted and slowly nodded off. Some freaking inconsiderate person decided to party all night and light off fireworks. Scared the crap out of me and brian. They laughed and laughed and laughed and yelled and talked loud and made all sorts of racket. I heard them loud and clear as though they were standing right out side of the tent. I contemplated either joining in with their festive idea of fun or just to tell them to shut the fuck up. I did neither and ignored it and dozed again.

The next morning everyone was excited and in good moods. The rally was doing good, i was out of the tent shell, and sitting in the sun with antony. Speedy drives up and tells me, “Somethings wrong with brian and hags.” Naturally he says it with a slight hint of panic and i instantly think of brian and haggis turned upside down dangling off a cliff with blood pouring out from under their helmet, knocked out. I didn’t want to be that hysterical girlfriend that rushes onto the stage and gets flattened so i pretend that i a) didn’t care b) didn’t hear c) am so self obsorbed that it was a&B but in reality i was thinking of worse and worse fates they could be in and how am i going to make the phone call to his mom? So then someone else, said that they were fine they were stopped on the stage though. now i thought they were stopped and fine but someone was going to crash into them and they were going to have an explosion of fire. Finally i heard they were standing out of the car with their helmets off. Finally they walked up with the car, no blood everything looked fine and dandy on them. The engine seized. thats all. Thanks Speedy for getting meworked up for no reason. Psft.

With Brian and haggy out of the rally, we dismantled the tent with record speed and waited for speedy. He managed to wrangle 1st place in his class and was ear to ear grinning.

So even though Brian and Haggy didn’t win the race at least the car that they built did. So in the long run, they were winners too.


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