Day One

I woke up this morning listening to what i thought was my alarm. Since when did i change my ring tone to my alarm tone? Confused i looked at my phone. Oh, its Haggy calling at some ungodly hour. For some odd reason he had a bunch of energy this morning after drinking all night (aw, how i remember the days… heather and shannon) anyways he called to see if i was ready to leave.

Today is the day where Eleanor and I venture to Nice, France for a week. I was really apprehensive of going at first for a number of reasons. I didn’t eat, like i usually do before flying. Why give my nervous stomach something to throw up? Speedy comes and picks us up and it wasn’t the plane i had to worry about, it was Speedy’s driving. I fought to keep that yogurt down this afternoon. He was slamming on his brakes and then pressing on the gas and then lane changing like a mad man then whipping around the round abouts. By the time i got out of the car i was sick to my stomach and my brain was woozy. kinda like being super drunk and then in a car while they drive like a jackass and then when you get out of the car your legs are funny. Once that passed i was starving. Wolfed down a sandwich and half a chocolate bar. Get on the plane. Fine. Fine. Fine.

The plane gets ready to take off. I start crying, like i do EVERY FUCKING TIME. Luckily no one noticed. I hope no one noticed. anyways we get in the air and i start to calm down. okay we are up and everything is fine. No. Its. Not. We hit turbulence and I feel like i’m right back with that damn damn stupid wooden roller coaster ride haggy took me on. Okay. Breathe. It stops and i unclasp my hands and try to get my breathing under control. then it starts again. so naturally, i tear up and clamp my eyes shut. keeping them closed for so long i eventually fell asleep and woke up stiff, having to pee and my legs totally cramped. Worked my way through the rest of the chocolate bar and started in on the starburst. i started reading my book (which is really sexually graphic and i didn’t realize it was one of those books when i got it) and i think that whoever is sitting next to me can glance over and see that i’m reading complete sex stuff. There is a plot to the book though. So i get sucked into this book and next thing i know we are landing!

Thank god for that. Get me off this freaking plane already. We get off (har har har) the plane and instantly its hot. Within a few minutes I’m sweating and I’m still inside the airport terminal. We go through passport (no stamp =[ don’t they know i’m collecting?!) and then off to get our bags. Fine. No problem. We walk to where our driver is to pick us up and we have a few minutes to go kill. I decide to go get a calling card and my bus almost leaves me at the airport. i hurry out and the driver man doesn’t seem too annoyed. I’m the youngest person next to the driver. i swear he was only … not good with ages but he looked young. the suit and glasses didn’t fool anyone. or me anyway.

Welcome to France. We drove along the coast and people were all tan, the sun was out there was people playing volleyball, rollerblading, riding bikes, jogging, walking, eating ice cream, playing with kids… it was just like huntington beach or something. Everyone was tan, some men happened to be wearing speedos, luckily for them i was too far away to take pictures. The sun was reflecting against the water and the water was a gorgeous bluesy. i was in love. i was so set to call haggy and tell him we gotta move to france because i never want to leave.
We get to my hotel after some dropping people off. I check in, no problem (whew. the reception guy is a china man with a asian accent that spoke french. what?) and get to my room. I have a small balcony off the double doors. Holy Fuck. I step out onto the balcony and i see the street below my (obv) and up and down the street are buildings similar to the one i’m in and people. Its amazing. Time to pick up smoking again for the week. Just to sit out on the balcony and watch people and smoke… everyone and their mother and child smoke out here. So i freshen up because i was sweating so bad and smelly, fix my hair, re do my make up the usual and then go downstairs to meet eleanor. I goof around at the front for awhile and then she shows up, drenched in sweat. I show her my room and then we walk to the train station where i try to call but it doesn’t work that well (I don’t know how to read french and couldn’t figure out the instructions on how to use the calling card. It just had a bunch of numbers and that’s it. WTF?) so we walk to her hotel and i talk to the hotel people and they explain what i need to do. okay i was just pressing the wrong set of numbers. tomorrow is a new attempt.

We walk along and grab something to eat. I have a kebab and fries. so good. i practically ate the whole thing. i was starving. then afterwards we walked down to the “sea” and took some pictures. We walk back towards the hotel, the meeting spot is a train station and Eleanor goes to her hotel and i go to mine.

Well. At the beginning i was all for moving to france and its the greatest place on earth. Obviously i did not enter to the area i’m in at night time. Don’t show fear. That’s what i kept telling myself. And don’t look like a freaking tourist either. So I’m walking along there are signs everywhere SEX. GADGETS. CHINSEX. (what is chin sex? a blow job??) and i’m walking along and homeless people are sleeping on the street, young boys are blaring their music off their phones, girls are walking around in some of the most god awful outfits. boys are sitting in their cars bumping music… everyone is half dressed (it is hot here). Large groups of people are clustered around stairs and phone booths and clapping and singing. Everywhere i turn there is a foreign language to my ears. And i decide i will start smoking again for a week.

I go into a store that doesn’t look to frightening. A guy about my height, little taller, dark and shark teeth said something to me. I smile and make eye contact (i really need to stop that) and shake my head.
“Ah, you speak English?” he asked.
I nod my head, still not speaking. I don’t want people to know I’m american.
“Very sex zee ladieee.” He put his fingers to his lips and made like a kiss when an italian chef is saying their food is fantasitc-o! I kinda smile dumbly, not sure what to say so i say thank you with a smile. He then asked if i want to go drink beer or do i drink beer… not sure he was mixing french with english and i told him no but thank you and then he put his hand to his heart and told me I’m a very sexy lady in his accent. Thanks doll. The market didn’t have smokes so i bolted out of there and skipped on up the street and turned a corner (down the wrong street) because i didn’t want to run into him on the sidewalk. I’m sure he is harmless enough but I’m not about to take that chance, my first night in a FOREIGN non english speaking country. well english isn’t their first language i should say.

So now I’m back in the hotel, typing this up and listening to a french movie. Now I’m off to sleep. I have to meet Eleanor at the train station at half past 10 but i want to call mr. love muffin before. And still eat breakkie. At least this time i won’t be hung over. LMAO. God i was sick that morning. I felt like i was going to DIE. or throw up.

It looks like its gonna be hot hot hot tomorrow considering it is midnight and still extremely warm. yea for sunshine!!!!


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