June 15, 2011
Today is my 2nd official day in Hawaii, and I don’t want to leave. I want to change my plane ticket, find a job, live with somebody (rent a room – fully furnished or something. I only have a few bathing suits and not even toiletries with me) and stay out here for the summer. Imagine, working for the summer in Kauai. I might be able to try to change my ticket, if my parents have about a $100 bucks or so. Just imagine, they wouldn’t have to worry about me asking for money or anything! I would be out here! I seriously do not want to leave.
Once upon a time I thought Jason was my rock, what I needed in life, how can I live without him… and granted I still think about him, but being out here, THIS is what I want. I don’t need this at all, I want it so bad I can taste it. Oh wait, that might be salt water I am tasting.
Brittany, Aunt Kathy and I went to the harbor today where the Marriot is. Went into the glorious water and while it was a bit colder, it wasn’t that bad. Crystal clear. We walked through the Marriot and I took pictures of practically every statue we saw. The inside of the Marriot was like The Breakers in Florida. Breathtaking. The view was amazing, the beach was amazing, everything was amazing. Except The Breakers was full of wood and this place is full of marble. I keep texting Mom and telling her she needs to get out here. They both should sell everything and move … well, its hard to see them selling the RV and the house to move out here, but, they should at least come out here for a weekend trip. They might fall in love with the island too. I just sent haggis an email and I told him… I’m in love and the name is Kauai and I may have a life long affair. I wonder if he will catch it or if he will simply think I fell in love with a whole person again. I believe this love affair will flourish much better than my last love affair with Jason. Ha.
Right now, besides the TV I hear, and talking and laughing and cars driving past, when it is silent (but not silent) crickets are chirping and the sqawk of geckos are floating around me. Its black, pitch black even though there is supposed to be a full moon because rain clouds are covering the sky and its slightly chilly (not really though. I don’t even need a sweatshirt! And that is saying something for me!) The TV turns green when its moist, and I feel covered in salt water, I should have taken a shower before going to sleep, but I will do that tomorrow morning before going to the beach. I should brush my hair finally, one day; it’s going to turn into dreads in a minute. Huge tangles. I may do that before I go to bed. I don’t have to worry about wearing makeup (it all comes off in the water or I sweat it off), I can wear dresses all day… unless of course I had a job then I would have to dress nice. Everything is so relaxed and simple and calm with lovely weather. I cannot believe how much I fell in love. Immediately too. I wasn’t here for 24 hours before I wanted to stay. I don’t have to worry about how big my boobs are, what color my hair is, who is wearing what, what type of car I am driving, it just does not matter. It may matter on other islands, but here it is okay. I just don’t want to leave. And this was the perfect thing to get away from Jason and all that crap. I do believe that when I get back, my head is going to be so clear and my only drive I will have is to get my dui classes done, finish school and high tail it out here again. Oh, that is right, I’m not able to stay out here for the summer because I have those damn dui classes to finish. That actually makes it better, and I won’t be so sad to leave anymore, because I HAVE to get back. Whew. I thought I might start crying when I board the plane. Truth be told, I probably will. I have taken roughly 100 pictures per day and I still have… 4 days left. I hope the time goes slow. New mission in life is to convince Becky and the girls to move out here. I cannot imagine how freaking cool it would be to live with Becky out here. That is my heaven. I should finish writing her a post card about it. I wonder if she would…
I wonder if being extremely happy and content is the same endorphins that love releases. I feel like I am head over heels in love and I just want to roll around in the sun and scream from the mountain tops how happy I am. I felt this way last September when I first started dating Jason. He may have left me for another girl, but I found ever-lasting love in a hunk of land, something I believe is far more giving than another human. The island gives me sunshine and rain and assaults my eyes with how many shades of green there is and GECKOS THAT LIVE IN THE HOUSE WILD AND FREE (maybe that will convince Becky) and wild chickens and roosters and beautiful beaches and bath tub temperature water and clear water and warmth and jungles and … need I go on? What the hell, or rather how the hell can a human compete with that?!
On that happy note, I am off to search craigslist. And check my emails and all the stuff I do right before I pass the eff out. Lovely sleep and then I get to tan my backside. Literally because I am getting stripes and am getting a bitchin tan. I was gobbled up alive from mosquitos last night, but even those fuckers won’t get me down. Yay for happiness! ❤